Marcelo was booted out of the Lyon dressing room for excessive farts and laughter


Who among us?

Who among us?
picture: Getty Images

Brazilian soccer player Marcelo couldn’t stop kicking his ass and laughing about it in the Lyon dressing room. His bloating became too much for his teammates when ESPN reported his farting and cackling about the cracking of a rat was the reason for Marcelo’s expulsion from Lyon last August.

The French first division club didn’t specify whether the smell, the volume, the frequency or a combination of the three were too much for others to focus on football. Marcelo, 34, has been at Lyon since 2017 and has made 121 appearances for the club as a centre-back.

The puffy goalkeeper is not to be confused with the Brazilian defender of the same name. Real Madrid’s Marcelo has 58 caps for the Brazil men’s national team, while the Tootin’ Marcelo only represented the country at U20 level long before his ass-breaking extravagance began.

Marcelo has been banned from the Ligue 1 squad after laughing during captain Leo Dubois’ Rah Rah speech after a 3-0 defeat. His breaking wind and giggles went down well with club manager Peter Bosz and sporting director Juninho. Marcelo may not have sat well either, based on what the team ate for lunch. And how uptight do you have to be not to laugh at a good fart? Whoopie pillows are still popular!

According to, Farting is actually unhealthy: “The wave motion of the intestinal walls first pushes the gas further. Holding a fart just keeps those gas bubbles in the gut. Nothing of substance can really move until the gas is gone.” Are you literally gasping your teammates when you fart unnecessarily around them?

Marcelo played for Lyon’s reserve side before his contract expired at the end of January and he joined the soon-to-be-relegated Bordeaux. He was reportedly considered one of Lyon’s leaders and had signed a new deal with the club in early 2021, but the club described his sacking as ‘inappropriate behaviour’.

Marcelo should have been more professional than laughing for whatever reason during a vulnerable team moment, especially while hotboxing in a locker room. Sometimes pre-shit happens. And Lyon had to understand that Marcelo left a crack. How much does the Brazilian have to fly for his farting to become a flammable offense? Probably a shitton.

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