It’s a well-known fact that Kyrie Irving is delusional. He is a man of the people while walking among them unvaccinated. HHe thinks the earth is flat and figured out the NBA, although without LeBron James he’s basically a loser. However, when he said he would continue to “manage” the Nets franchise alongside Kevin Durant, owner Joe Tsai and GM Sean Marks after being swept out of the first round of the playoffs, he wasn’t wrong.
The team will placate Irving as long as Durant says so. The player empowerment era is good in theory and features many storylines, but an endless cycle of messages from unhappy players being unhappy despite getting what they want is exhausting. You threw a tantrum to keep DeAndre Jordan’s body instead of Jarrett Allen, now you have to live with the consequences. Can’t we just go back to a time when all we had to do was get angry at teams for acting like blood sucking businessmen?
Enter the NFL, a league that still don’t give a shit what their star quarterbacks think about trading their favorite targets. The first round of the draft delivered some great trades and better apoplectic reactions. Recipient Marquise’Hollywood’ Brown got traded to Arizona and Lamar Jackson lost his shit. He retweeted an equally angry Ravens fan.
Then he just posted “wtf” when Tyler Linderbaum was included in #25. Jackson later clarified that the acronym-tagged swearing didn’t go over his new center, but I think everyone knows what he was referring to. The NFL’s front offices are Nick Saban scholarship players who are ruthless every offseason and occasionally during the season.
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On the other end of the spectrum, Cardinals QB Kyler Murray seems overjoyed at news of a reunion with his old target Oklahoma Sooner.
Bringing in a relatively risk-free wide receiver is probably the most reassuring thing an NFL team can do. Remember when Tom Brady thought he could retire and then join the dolphins once the Bucs released him, but Tampa found out and said, “Fuck it, if you play, you play for us”? He got a few shots at the Bucs because he’s the greatest quarterback of all time, and even then the team hinted at a contract.
cuddles The fans were absolutely on Brady’s side in his power struggle with Bill Belichick. However, the hoodie seems to take delight in tossing a child’s favorite toy into the fire.
The only people who think Aaron Rodgers is the greatest QB of all time are the Packers Fans, but their own franchise has started trashing its roster suggestions, which isn’t a bad idea. (Randall Cobb and Aaron Rodgers were the last people on Earth to think Cobb wasn’t washed.)
Here’s everyone’s favorite angst-ridden football player — who has definitely never overreacted to the Packers and held them hostage with demands — on The Pat McAfee Show on draft day responding to the team trading Davante Adams.
“It was a bit of a surprise with Davante – obviously when I made my decision I still thought he was coming back. I’ve been very honest with him about my plans and my future and where I see my career going in terms of the number of years I want to play. But I felt like he would come back, obviously didn’t pan out that way but I have so much love for him ‘Thank you and thank you for the time we have spent together and in any case wish him all the best derek [Carr] in Vegas. But that is a big hole to fill.”
Can we bottle this despair and sell it? bears Fans would bathe in it. Rodgers choosing to air his grievances on draft day is nothing new, and I suspect Green Bay isn’t surprised and doesn’t care. “Cool man you said you were coming back so do scary commercials and shut up while we run the team.”
And wait ’til you read what Ryan Tannehill had to say about the Titans moving his best target in AJ Brown to Philly. … People? What’s happening? I thought we had a reaction tweet? … What is that? Tannehill sucks and nobody cares what they think? That sounds a little harsh, but I’ll allow it.
I don’t know why I find the blatant disregard for a QB’s feelings so refreshing, but it’s like an olfactory reaction to a pizzeria you haven’t been to in ages.
It could be that I’m a pro player and always root for them. So when there is mismanagement in the team, I instinctively want to blame it on the GM or Operations President. Now I have to consider a player’s influence when I’m criticizing him instead of just his play, and breaking down LeBron’s acquisitions like he’s Brian fucking Cashman makes me turn to accounting.
Or it could be hilarious to see millionaire athletes throw tantrums.
Sorry, I’m done yelling at the TV. I’ll just go back to taking intermittent naps and occasionally waking up to wonder who got picked, grunting in agreement or disapproval and nodding off again.
