There are few things out there that soften the edges of this cruel world like a hilarious sports video on Twitter and the even funnier replies from armchair pundits that accompany it. Video circulating today shows a group of Best Buy employees, caught by the store’s security camera, defending the exit as three men attempted to steal phones from the display in a perfect zone formation, complete with a free security on the back, complete with quick lateral shuffling to cut off listeners – oops, sorry, the shoplifters – from getting out the door. One of the worst executed shoplifting attempts I’ve ever seen was quickly foiled by a league-worthy crew whose talents are clearly wasted in the electronics business.
The quote tweets and replies are both endless and hilarious as Twitter analysts break down employees’ defensive moves and attitudes. There are many suggestions for the Jets and Lions to contact the manager to sign the main defenseman from the video for their defensive lines. The video will be studied in film rooms for years to come. The technique, the situational reading, the full ground coverage – you can’t teach these instincts!
The ending of the play (or whatever result of the attempted shoplifting) isn’t recorded in the original video, which has amassed over seven million views since it was posted to Twitter by NFL Memes yesterday, but the would-be thieves were significantly slowed down by it the wires that keep the display phones connected to the display itself, proving harder than they might have thought to come loose. Maybe not the best thoughtful plan ever there.
The only problem with this perfectly executed nickel defense is that the security policy in most stores is not to prosecute shoplifters. Best Buy operates a “no touch” policy to prevent security guards from getting into physical altercations with suspected shoplifters. But alas, these guys were only there for the sheer love of the game. Every single one of them was willing to risk everything for these display phones.